We've been working with Owen on his speech therapy and while he's made what they call "great improvement," it's still very frustrating and difficult for all of us. His patience with not being understood has all but diminished and being sick didn't help. The last three days have been particularly trying since he's taken up full fledged hitting and throwing heavy objects. Yesterday he literally cried or screamed ALL DAY. Tantrum after tantrum. Needless to say by the end of the day I had reached my limit.
Today I tried to be prepared. I had a list of things that could help the issue so I started at the top. I took them to the Saipan Garage Sale which is better described as a flea market. I let him lead me around, we stopped and looked at the fish and he got a small toy for a dollar. The tranquility didn't last long. He decided he wanted June's toy instead and I ended of carrying both children--kicking and crying--back to the car. Maybe he needs some one on one time? So try I did. I made a road for his cars out of masking tape on the floor, tried to engage him with play doh, even tried building lincoln logs. Nada. Everything was thrown into all corners of the room after a few minutes of play. Not even for any particular reason. He had been put in time out several times already (and it only being 11am) it became apparent that nothing I do today will appease this child I threw my hands up. I finally just put them both in the bath and let him and his sister destroy it. I figured everything in there is either washable, replaceable or unbreakable, right?
"Just make it to nap time, just make it to nap time." I had to repeat it over and over in my head. And that's what I did.
I kept my cool when June threw up on purpose just to play with it,
I kept my cool when Owen hurled wooden lincoln logs at my head,
I kept my cool when he insisted on having yogurt and cereal and then denying it because I didn't put it into the measuring spoon (because I should've known it belongs there, no?)
I even kept my cool when he kicked me in the face, splitting my lip, because he didn't want to get dressed.
"just make it to nap time."
Make no mistake, I love my children and motherhood is beautiful, wonderful and joyful but there are definitely days where I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong, that I'm a terrible mother or that I'm just plain ill-qualified.
And these are the times that I have to remind myself of the sweet things they do.
Like praying without being prompted and hearing a very distinct, "AMEN!"
When they give each other kisses.
When they try to save each other from time out.
When they wake up in the middle of the night and only want me.
When they clap with glee all over their face because they accomplished something.
When they won't go to bed until I have kissed them good night.
Oh my sweet babies. I may have aged ten times as fast since having you, but I love you oh so much.
3 comments:
We had to take Jaspers dresser out of his room and every single book and toy because he was throwing them everywhere and at me. I would have to put him in there and hold the door closed for time outs or he would beat on me as well. It is a hard time for boys that are stubborn for terrible twos. I feel your pain. Hang in there :)
Did you ever get your Christmas presents??
Oh goodness. You are so good for being so patient. I get to the point sometimes where I have to just put Linkon in his room and shut the door (with the child lock on the inside knob) so I don't lose it and spank the heck out of him. He nearly kicks the door down, but I'd rather that than have him kicking me.
You're a good mom. You have a lot of patience.
Sounds like we can all blame it on Grandpa John :)
Post a Comment